Valentine’s Day, as decreed by our esteemed and venerable Lord Hallmark, hallowed be thy name, is of course when all are commanded to shell out for honey merch, meaning merch for your honey. Or merch to snag you some honey, if you know what I mean, nudge nudge, wink wink. If, however, you are among the honey-free, then this is a day designed specifically to drive home exactly how honey-free you are, and what a loser that makes you in the eyes of those around you. Even your mom is ashamed. Couldn’t you at least bring home a harlot or a hustler at Thanksgiving and pretend, fer gosh sakes?

 

Thee Tourettes want to wash all that water under the carpet and sweep it beneath the bridge, so to speak. In honor of Valentine’s Day they have magnanimously grifted the public – sorry, gifted – with their new EP, Noises from the Bedroom, a collection of songs about people doing things to other people. Or wanting to. Or not. Or something.

 

Noises from the Bedroom was recorded – wait for it – in the bedroom. Nothing like truth in advertising. Thee Tourettes wouldn’t lie to you. They love you. Like a sister. Like a brother. Like a long-lost parent who abandoned you at birth and reappeared to express undying love the moment you cashed that winning lottery ticket. That’s how much we love you. More, even.

 

The new EP is climbing the charts already. The pop chart. The country chart. The dance/electronic chart. The “race” chart. Wait, they renamed that one. No matter. You give us a chart, we’ll climb it. It’s what we do. Check out our CV. It’s on there: “Highly skilled in chart-climbing. Extensive experience in Lotus 1-2-3.” See? We wouldn’t lie to you.

 

Noises from the Bedroom will relate to you via the rhythm method exactly what love means to Thee Tourettes: the good, the bad, and the sticky. Love is complicated. Love hurts. Love will tear us apart. Love is tainted. Love stinks. All tragically, tediously true. Yet musicians keep writing about it and audiences keep shelling out the green for it.

 

And as long as that’s the case, Thee Tourettes are willing to give you what you’ll pay for. I mean what you want. Because we love your money. I mean you.